Dog Poo at All-

Dog Poo at All-Time High, Locals Want Answers!

Are They Dumb, or Do They Know Better?

The level of messed-up shoes has risen 36% in the last year. This dramatic increase is thought to be caused by the ARAMARK Dining Hall at Lyndon State College. Wild and domestic dogs are being fed by students leaving the dining hall creating some sick puppies. The food is so poor in quality that dogs are pooping uncontrollably. When confronted about his bowel-spilling dog cooking, he said, “I’m not answering any questions until I have a lawyer present!” He then broke down in tears. When we came back to question him again we found that the chef had resigned from his job and fled town. He was later found in this Police raid. He was arrested for running an underground cafeteria sweatshop using children and dogs.

Dogs’ intelligence put to the test!

For years it has been a controversial question, who is smarter, the dog, or the college student. Many say this question can not be answered because there is no right answer, they are both the same. Dogs just have an advantage because they can’t talk, and they are so dam cute. “It’s not fare!” says Lyndon Student Rick LeBlanc. “They can take a dump anywhere they want, but when I do it, I have to go to concealing. It was an ugly carpet anyway.” When asked if two wrongs make a right, he said, “No, but two poops make a mess!” Another student, Damian Lampman says, “They try to look cute to get out of trouble, take this picture of my dog for example.”

Inside This Article

1. Poo

2. More Poo

3. Reactions

4. Objectiones


When confronted about his bowel-spilling dog cooking, he said, "I'm not answering any questions until I have a lawyer present!" He then broke down in tears. When we came back to question him again we found that the chef had resigned from his job and fled town.	"you see how he makes those faces to get out of trouble, he won't be looking that cute after He gets put to sleep" says an angry Mr. Lampman. "I like it" says one Ryan Royer. With the poo there, it attracts flies." "why is that good?" we asked. "So the frogs can eat" We asked, "So you have pet frogs?" "Oh hell no, how do you think my cat eats?" Well, you heard it here folks. More on this story in the next issue of The Dog Poo Newsletter.

When confronted about his bowel-spilling

dog cooking, he said, "I'm not answering any

questions until I have a lawyer present!" He

then broke down in tears. When we came

back to question him again we found that the

chef had resigned from his job and fled town.

"you see how he makes those faces to get out of trouble, he won't be looking that cute after He gets put to sleep" says an angry Mr. Lampman. "I like it" says one Ryan Royer. With the poo there, it attracts flies." "why is that good?" we asked. "So the frogs can eat" We asked, "So you have pet frogs?" "Oh hell no, how do you think my cat eats?" Well, you heard it here folks. More on this story in the next issue of The Dog Poo Newsletter.

POO KILLS

Called the DLM Early Childhood Program, kindergarten children benefit \par from a full-day learning and creative experience in a small group setting, \par enabling them to receive more individualized attention than they might \par receive in other kindergarten programs. The DLM program includes \par activities that appeal to children with varied learning styles, interests and \par developmental needs as defined by the National Association For the \par Education of Young Children (NAEYC). With reading, phonics, math, \par science, social studies, computers, art, music and field trips integrated \par into the curriculum, the program fosters the development of the whole good.

GILBERT, Ariz. - August 2, 1999 -- The Children's World Learning \par Center located at 135 South Val Vista Drive in Gilbert is now accepting applications for fall enrollment in its private kindergarten program, which begins on Monday, August 16. The center will host a kindergarten round-up on Tuesday, August 10 from 7 to 6 p.m. to introduce.